What's with all those FAKE commercials in REN & STIMPY?

Every classic REN & STIMPY fan is aware there are defining elements of the show such as the exaggerated Wild Takes,

The Gross Humor,

"This place is too stinky even for me!!!!"

"HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!!! 

WE'RE TRYING TO EAT HERE!!!!"

And of course, the Closeup Cards as drawn my BILL WRAY.

"Ohhhh Man!!!!!"

But one of those elements that's a little easier on the stomach are of course the fake commercials that appear before the actual episode starts, in-between the segments, or after the episode ends before the credits role.

One of the most famous are the LOG Commercials.

Everybody should know about the LOG MARCH.

Those images above are examples of what to expect.

Here's an embedded video below:

So.....

Why advertised products that don't even exist or aren't sold at stores like TOYS R US circa 1991-1995?

Former BOWMAC TOYS R US in Broadway Street, Vancouver, BC.

(BOWMAC was originally a Car Dealership.)

Well...... it's a very messy history that does involve JOHN K. but not for those reasons you'd be thinking.

Despite the fact that JOHN hated that 80s cartoons were nothing but big-ass advertisements for the toys that accompany the show like G.I JOE for example,

JOHN K thought it would be fun to advertise for existing toys because he felt that NICKELODEON, who at the time didn't have their own I.P shows yet, would want to advertise the toys in the same way CARE BEARS, G.I JOE, TRANSFORMERS, etc. would do.

With the gist being that it would help fund SPUMCO in the event NICKELODEON or VIACOM would refuse more funding until they approve what they liked.

However,

The CHILDRENS TELEVISION ACT of 1990 was enacted by 

THE FELLAS AT THE FREAKIN FCC under the HW. BUSH ADMINISTRATION which required shows to have some form of educational or informational value.

This meant that MERCHANDISE-DRIVEN SHOWS were doomed since those shows can't actively advertise the toys or the show that's part of that lineup without incurring the FCC's wrath.

While MERCHANDISING still is possible, it can't be all that obvious or overtly blatant.

So.... 

To keep the concept of the bumpers without actually advertising the real-life toys, cereal, video games, or even the actual merchandise that Nickelodeon was churning out,

SPUMCO decided to jokingly advertise FAKE products like LOG

"I want......."

"LOG!!!!!!!!"

Just like with real-life commercials, the fake commercials often had to come up with variations....

'Like this one below:

"WE''RE SICK OF DOLLS AND EASY-BAKE OVENS!!!!"

"WE WANT A...."

"NEW......"

"TOY!!!!!!"

So.... You want a new toy, don't ya GIRLS?

well....

BLAMMO has answered your prayers.

It's LOG "FOR GIRLS"

Again, here's the commercial in Video Form:

I did mention Cereal but because of the FCC and because I'm pretty sure KELLOGGS'S or GENERAL MILLS are unwilling to advertise for REN & STIMPY in favor of more safer fare like RUGRATS,

REN & STIMPY decided to do fake cereal commercials for themselves

And no. STIMPY did not advertise CEREAL unlike what this screenshot below tells us

And as usual....

Well I thought I'd find videos on YOUTUBE but I guess SKYDANCE made copyright claims to a point that I can't find the corresponding video to show.

"Oh No!!! 

Not another Copyright claim from SKYDANCE!!"

I hear ya kid.....

Dammit DAVID ELLISON! You're making the kid cry up there!

Here is another example for you POWDERED TOAST MAN fans out there:

I'd share the scene of STIMPY advertising GRITTY KITTY LITTER but I fear that ELLISON's goons are gonna fly from CALIFORNIA to VANCOUVER just to knock on my door and make me remove the embedded video while breathing down my neck so I'm not gonna risk it.

So these screenshots are gonna have to do

What's interesting is that even though STIMPY'S LOG is meant to be a fake toy, 

it did become an actual toy product...

These kinds of commercials were however downplayed during the GAMES ERA of REN & STIMPY so...... that sort of killed the concept in the later years.

What I do find interesting is that the fake commercials often had animation that weren't in the art style of JOHN K., JIM SMITH, CHRIS RECARDDI, etc.

That's because the FAKE COMMERCIALS were meant to parody certain commercials of the 1950s and 1960s such as these below:

And the art style was meant to be a throwback to the UPA cartoons of old, hence the flatter designs of the time period.

Though for now, I can show you what's closest:

THE ALVIN SHOW from 1961

No other cartoon dared to advertise fake products like REN AND STIMPY does.....

And no, those like you've seen in THE SIMPSONS don't count as those fake commercials are tied to a specific part of the plot.

STIMPY's fake commercials have no ties to any plot whatsoever and that's what makes it unique in it's own right.

Yes, I'm celebrating the show's 35th Anniversary a little earlier than intended but that's ok. 

The other celebration for RUGRATS and DOUG will happen as scheduled on AUGUST 11th

so be patient will ya.

Bone-A childhood comic series who's hopes of animated adaptation are slim+Anecdotes

Back when I was in the sixth grade,

which would have been between September 2009 to June 2010,  

I was exposed heavily to Jeff Smith's BONE comics.

And suddenly, a whole new world of Tolkienesque Fantasy opened to me in ways I couldn't imagine before said exposure.

Probably because even in Late 2009, 

Peter Jackson's LORD OF THE RINGS movies were still fresh in people's minds at the time.

And this was before I got into the anime FAIRY TAIL though the anime did premiere in Japan in 2009 but us Americans/Canadians wouldn't get it legally until 2011 when FUNIMATION got the license to localize the series in North America.

But 12 year old me was obsessed to the bone, no pun intended, with the Bone comic series.

It had things in the stories you just couldn't get with any other Comics published during your childhood....

Unless you count the various Manga from other sources.

But things you see in BONE are just stuff you won't find in most comics that touch dark subject matter.

The sheer fact that this series got printed in 1991 publications is amazing.

A story that gets away with things like dark subject matter, 

Political Allegories,

and mutilation,

Back in 1991, you won't find something like that in other comics...

Unless you look at the various superhero comics or whatever manga gets past all those publishers back in the day.

A story meant to be told to children, yet has stuff that's often pretty dark and gory.

With a story that dark, you know it's bound to be good.

I live for dark stories with actual character.

While I've stated I got into Bone back in the Sixth grade, I didn't exactly start at that period.

My first real exposure to the BONE comics was at a Local Hair Salon at Venables Steet and Commercial Drive. which was within a walking distance from my apartment at Frances Street & Victoria Drive.

You know some places like a hair salon or Dentist's office has these things for kids to entertain themselves like Magazines or Comics?

Well, this Salon had a copy of ROCK JAW: MASTER OF THE EASTERN BORDER

Reading that, I was mesmerized by not only the drawings but the story.

And my further exposure in the Sixth Grade only further solidified that.

Did I mention in the header that the chances of BONE getting a Movie or TV Series is virtually slim?

Yeah..... Let me elaborate on that.

Back when I was 12, during my time in the sixth grade, I was so obsessed with BONE that I envisioned in my mind what BONE would have looked like if it had been adapted into either a movie or a TV Series.

Fast Forward years later, that still has not been made a reality....

In fact, throughout BONE's 35+ year history since it's first publication in 1991, BONE has had a horrible history of fights between Jeff Smith and Animation Executives on how to handle the BONE I.P.

The first attempt was in the late 90s when Nickelodeon had interest in adapting it into a Movie.

Boy, did that go horribly awry.

Nickelodeon's execs demanded the BONE Cousins be voiced by Children and they also demanded POP Songs from the likes of NSYNC, Britney Spears, etc.

Good thing Jeff walked out of the pitch because Pop Songs in a comic series like BONE would be a poor choice due to the perceived anachronisms as well as undermining the Serious Nature of the story. 

Then in 2008, Warner Bros. picked up the license.

(Keep in mind this was before that INFAMOUS David Zaslav became CEO)

After years of stagnant negotiations, the deal fell through.

From what little Information I have, the Warner Bros. deal was that the film would have been a trilogy of films and they would all have been CGI because...... EXECUTIVES..... and their MONEY......

But good thing that deal fell through because of what's to come within WB in the later years.

In 2019, Netflix picked up the series, raising hopes that a proper 2D Adaptation would finally commence......

WHOOPDIE-EFFING-DOOOO!!!!!

NETFLIX THEN PULLED THE GODDAMN PLUG IN APRIL 2022 DUE TO AN ALLEGED RESTRUCTURING....

But really, it was because Netflix's EXECUTIVES fell victim to Mr. BOSS BABY and his findings of NETFLIX's poor stock reports in 2022.

"PUT THAT COOKIE OF RANTS DOWN!!!! 

That cookie is for Closers!!!"

OH SHUT UP MR. BOSS BABY. YOU EFFED UP A PERFECT DEAL WITH NETFLIX AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR SOURDOUGH FROM YOU.

ALSO, GIVE MR. BIG BABY HIS RIGHT TO EAT THEM COOKIES.

But yeah, I was devastated to the bone back in April 2022 when I heard that Netflix pulled the plug on the BONE adaptation.

While Jeff is still hunting for other studios to help him adapt the comics into a series, It goes to show you that in this current Animation Studio Climate, Execs are not interested in these adaptations due to either obsession with the money or demanding changes to the source material which many a creator is not going to accept.

As of now, according to LOST MEDIA BUSTERS, this is the only evidence of a Netflix series that at one point existed

So much for childhood dreams but our rants unfortunately fall on deaf ears so...

DEAL WITH IT!!!

.... Sorry for that. 

But that's reality.

However,

On the topic of Warner Bros. I'm actually glad the deal with Jeff Smith and Warner Bros. fell through because of what would happen later when they brought in Zaslav in 2022 after the Discovery merger.

If what happened with Olan Roger's FINAL SPACE is any indication, I don't want to think about what Zaslav would have done to BONE had the deal with Netflix didn't go forward in 2019.

While we are still fuming at NETFLIX for them shitting on the Bone Series,

they still own the rights so while that can't be changed.

I seriously hope NETFLIX changes their minds before Jeff Smith turns 70.

I originally started this post in the summer of 2024 but I went through multiple revisions due to me still raging over NETFLIX's handling of the BONE series and not giving a crap over JEFF SMITH's reaction to the news.

And I was still reeling in from my own personal issues at the time so I had no desire to post back then.

And besides, 2026 is the 35th Anniversary of the BONE franchise so posting this at the within the year feels more fitting.

And why is SKYDANCE in the labels for this post?

Because in the later years, PARAMOUNT would buy WARNER BROS. after the NETFLIX deal fell through after they backed out of buying WB.....

However, NETFLIX still has the rights to BONE, which they wrote off any chances.......

Ok..... It's all in the past. Instead of me raging, I should treat myself to either some TROPICANA Juice or a good blend of GREEN TEA.